Even If I Still Love You, Goodbye
by Artemis Aurelia
Summary: Songfic 'Goodbye to You' by Michelle Branch. Gabby breaks up with Troy before 'Gotta Go My Own Way' and then her life continues on as she tells Troy she doesn't love him and that she has to say goodbye. Sad Troyella. PREVIOUSLY Loves-Lucas-Grabeel


**A/N: Broken Troyella ahead! Gabby breaks up with Troy, but still loves him. Set before, then after "Gotta Go My Own Way".**

* * *

Gabriella sat under the stars on the hill, crying softly to herself. She loved Troy, she told herself. But she just couldn't seem to take any more of the lies. The deception. The hurt. She believed that he could be given a second chance…But not this time. She just wanted to be done with him this time. Because it was just too much to handle.

**Of all the things I believe in,**

**I just want to get it over with.**

Slowly, Troy came up the hill. Gabby wiped the tears out of her eyes and faced him as he sat next to her. He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

**Tears form behind my eyes,**

**But I do not cry,**

**Counting the days that pass me by.**

When she told him she couldn't do it anymore, couldn't take the lies and the hurt, he cried. He said he loved her, he said he wouldn't ever hurt her again…But he had. He had cut her deep and she couldn't take any more.

**I've been searching deep down in my soul,**

**Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old.**

* * *

Days of the summer passed, and Gabriella had nothing to do with Troy. She struck up a good friendship with Ryan, and Ryan seemed to like her well enough for her liking. She told herself that she was starting fresh. That she would forget Troy. But she couldn't forget him entirely. She would always remember him fondly until the day he treated her wrong.

**Looks like I'm starting all over again,**

**The last three years were just pretend,**

Troy approached her one night as she worked at the pool. He started to talk to her, to apologize, but she looked him in the eye and told him no. No, she couldn't do it anymore. No, she couldn't live like that again. No, she didn't want to love him.

**And I say goodbye to you,**

**Goodbye to everything that I knew,**

As Troy walked away, Gabriella told herself she had lied. She _wanted_ to love Troy with all her heart. But she _couldn't_ anymore. Just couldn't. She reminded herself of how she tried to keep him, but failed.

**You were the one I loved,**

**The one thing that I tried to hold on to.**

* * *

Gabriella caught his eye at school during homeroom as their senior year began. She stared into the blue depths, totally lost, forgetting that she didn't love him.

**I still get lost in your eyes,**

**Seems like I can't live a day without you.**

She closed her eyes as she realized what she was doing. Her head filled with thoughts of Troy and she couldn't push them away any longer.

**Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away ,**

**To a place where I am blinded by the light.**

He walked up to her, trying to start over again. Gabriella shook her head and repeated what she had said that night at the pool. She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't live like that again. She didn't love him. And this time, she started to believe herself.

**But it's not right,**

**Goodbye to you,**

**Goodbye to everything that I knew.**

But somehow she knew she was wrong. Somewhere inside her said she did still love him despite what he'd done.

**You were the one I loved,**

**The one thing that I tried to hold on to.**

* * *

She cried that night. Because she still loved him, somewhere in her heart. Because she wanted his love and she wanted her life, but she couldn't have both. And she couldn't have Troy.

She thought of calling him, but she told herself no. No, I can't do it anymore. No, I can't live like that again. No, I don't love him.

**It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,**

**I want what's yours, and I want what's mine.**

**I want you but I'm not giving in this time.**

She didn't have to call him. He called her. And before he'd said anything, she repeated herself for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

I don't want to try again. I can't live like that again. I don't love you.

**Goodbye to you,**

**Goodbye to everything that I knew.**

**You were the one I loved,**

**The one thing that I tried to hold on to.**

* * *

She sat on the hill in the park, staring at the stars much the way she had when she told Troy she couldn't do it anymore. That she didn't _want_ to anymore. That she didn't love him.

But you do, she told herself. You _do_ love him.

But Troy didn't come. She hadn't asked him to. She hadn't _wanted_ him to.

A star arched across the sky and for some reason, she thought of how she lost Troy like the star just lost it's life.

**And when the stars fall I will lie awake,**

**You're my shooting star.**


End file.
